Here I Go Again

It seems that every time I get all geared up to put more time into this blog, my neck and shoulder issues force me to choose between it and my other writing project. I haven't gone away, nor will I, but there is good reason for me to not post as much, and if you are interested in the whole story, read on.

Five years ago I blew a disk in my neck. In typical Beagle fashion, I walked around with a numb arm, my shoulder on fire, and no way to turn my head for a month before I actually saw a doctor and learned what had happened on that rather mundane morning when I turned my head to see what the dog was barking at.

I didn't have time for this crap. I lived alone, had to work, and was in the midst of the courtship that would eventually result in a marriage and move overseas. So, I went in for cortisone injections to the spine, lived on hardcore pain killers, muscle relaxers, sleeping pills and weed. The weed helped me to halve the doses of meds I was on so that I could function, and also because I was terrified of becoming addicted to the highly scary pills I was on.

None of this worked very well. Little by little, I did manage to regain the use of my left arm, but I pretty much lived in pain that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I have a high tolerance for pain, and I don't know if that made it better or worse for me because being the animal that I am about pain, I tend to ignore it. Not helping either is the fact that I grew very angry at not being able to do things, so I pushed myself to do them. If the doctor said not to do it, I was out there attempting it the next day.

After I moved, I went to a chiropractor, and for a long time, that did ease things up for me. I was able to reclaim my life, race cars, lift a coffee up, that sort of thing, and eventually, I abandoned chiropractic care for three reasons.

1. Cost, because it's not covered by the NHS.
2. I wasn't really hurting anymore despite being told I would never fully live a pain free life.
3. I began to fear the small chance of suffering a stroke after an epic neck crack.

For months, I was fine, even normal. However, the pain comes back and kicks my ass every few months, and during that time, I get put back on pain killers, muscle relaxers, etc. until the trapped nerves sort themselves out. When this happens, typing is a chore. It's one thing to make comments on Facebook or elsewhere, but sitting down and writing is painful after about 20 minutes. I love to write. I'm not stopping. But I have to choose - do I blog here each day as I would like to do, or do I continue on the novel I've been writing in my head for five years and on a screen for one? The latter choice wins out every time because I can't fight the creative urge after having played with that story for so long.

So I'll be back and in full force after a few weeks when I am sorted out. Thank you for your patience, my few readers that may or may not already know the situation.